Party Guest Commandments
When in doubt, dress up.
You don't want to embarrass yourself by showing up in a flannel and denim when everyone else is in suits and dresses. On the other hand, you should probably avoid tuxedos and sequins, unless specified on the invitation.
Don't assume.
Don't assume it's okay to bring friends, kids or even a date. Make a phone call a few days in advance. Tell your hosts whom you'd like to bring. If your request isn't immediately granted with open arms, you probably shouldn't go through with it. Be 15-20 minutes late. If it's a dinner party, and you're running 30 minutes or more behind schedule, call and alert your hosts. If it's a cocktail party and you're going to be more than an hour late, call with a good excuse and an ETA.
Introduce yourself (and your date) to strangers.
Engage them in a conversation. Here's a no-fail approach: "Hi, I'm (your name). How do you know (your host)? I hope there's a crazy story attached to you first meeting..."
Don't just sit there – move around.
If it's a casual affair with a self-serve bar, ask others if you can get them a drink before you refill your own. Approach loners and chat them up. Introduce people to each other.
Ask permission before smoking.
Say, "Is there a designated smoking area?" instead of "May I smoke?" You might end up outside with other outcasts, but that can be fun if you keep your festive attitude intact.
Know your limits.
If tequila makes you crazy, don't drink it, even if it's a margarita party and there are seven different kinds being offered. Same goes for gin at martini parties and so on. Even responsible drinkers sometimes go a bit too far; if this happens to you, ask your hosts for a cup of coffee, then switch to seltzer.
Know when it's time to go.
If the party is swinging way beyond the time stated on the invitation, be sensitive to your hosts' energy levels; pick up on unspoken signals such as glazed eyes and stifled yawns, and get yourself and your coat out the door before you become a burden.
Say thank you.
When you're leaving, it's essential that you seek out the party-givers and thank them before you go. Follow up with a phone call the next day or a nice note.
Offer to help your host.
For small gatherings, and after the festivities wind down, ask your hosts if you can help straighten up. Your kind offer will be noted, but (lucky you) almost certainly refused.
